I've lost weight three times in my 20s.

Each time I succeeded, I became more miserable.

If you're struggling with yo-yo dieting or feeling trapped by food rules, this letter is for you.

After college, I gained weight while studying for my PT board exam in Manila. Seeing photos of myself at my oath-taking ceremony was a wake-up call - my clothes looked tight, and people mentioned I looked heavier.

With my wedding approaching, I started eating less and biking five times a week.

They say "Eat less, move more," right?

The weight dropped quickly in two months. I felt great in my wedding dress, but I was constantly hungry and irritable.

Three years later, we moved to the USA. Everything was exciting, especially the food. Bigger portions, amazing flavors - I gained 10 pounds in my first year. As a healthcare professional, I worried this would undermine my credibility with patients.

So I got "scientific" about it. I tracked every calorie, limiting myself to 1,200 per day. I weighed myself every morning, watching the numbers drop.

But I remember staring at an Oreo cookie, realizing I could only eat half or I'd exceed my daily limit. I was always sad and hungry.

After four months, I couldn't sustain it. I started eating normally again and quickly gained back everything I'd lost, plus more.

My third attempt was the most extreme.

I counted macros and limited myself to just 900 calories daily. I measured everything, even tiny pieces of mint candy. I bought only low-calorie, low-fat packaged foods because I could get exact calorie counts.

It worked - I reached my goal weight.

But the cost was devastating.

One night after volunteering at church, my husband wanted to share his Burger King chicken nuggets.

I could only eat half of one nugget to stay under my 900-calorie limit. Sitting in our car, holding that piece of chicken, I cried. I couldn't even enjoy food with my husband anymore.

I was trapped in a cycle of constant restriction, always punishing myself.

Then something happened that changed everything. Despite being at my "ideal" weight, my blood tests showed high LDL cholesterol.

My weight was perfect, but my health wasn't.

Combined with battling thyroid cancer, I realized I'd been so focused on the scale that I forgot what truly mattered - my actual health.

Months later, I discovered plant-based nutrition and lifestyle medicine. Instead of restricting, I focused on adding nourishing foods - fruits, vegetables, beans, whole grains, nuts, and seeds. Food quality over quantity.

I stopped counting calories.

Plants are naturally lower in calories, so I just needed to ensure I wasn't undereating. I didn't become protein deficient like I feared.

Exercise changed too. Instead of punishment for what I ate, it became celebration of what my body could do.

The changes were slow but real. My weight dropped naturally, my cholesterol normalized, and I put my thyroid cancer into remission. Most importantly, I felt better than I had in years.

Some people ask why I'm not 100% plant-based. The truth is, demanding perfection reminded me too much of the emotional trauma from my dieting attempts. Those experiences taught me that strict rules and unrealistic expectations only lead to misery. I chose a more forgiving approach.

Health isn't a number on a scale - it's how you feel in your body every single day.

If you're currently restricting calories, obsessing over macros, or punishing yourself with exercise, you can try this instead:

This week, focus on adding ONE nourishing thing to each meal rather than taking anything away. A handful of berries to your breakfast. Extra vegetables to your lunch. A small salad before dinner.

Notice how this feels different in your body and mind compared to restriction.

This is how we build sustainable health - by crowding out less helpful foods with more nourishing ones, not by creating arbitrary rules that make us miserable.

This decade-long journey taught me that health is not a destination; it's a way of living. Weight loss should never be the primary goal. When you focus on health first, everything else follows naturally.

You don't have to choose between feeling good and looking good. There's a path where you can have both - but it starts with throwing out the diet mentality and embracing what actually nourishes you.

Your body deserves better than punishment. It deserves care, respect, and foods that make you feel alive. That's where real transformation begins.

What's one nourishing thing you could add to your meals this week? Hit reply and let me know - I read every response.

Grazelle 🌱

PS: Right now, I really am gaining a lot of weight. Again - but for a good reason. I’m in my last stretch of this pregnancy. Can’t wait to pop this baby out very soon.

Whenever you’re ready, here are some other (free) resources you can check out: