Hello my friends,

We all have a secret fantasy about our health.

It’s a dark, quiet thought that lives in the back of our minds, especially when we’re stressed, overworked, or sliding back into bad habits. It sounds like this:

“I know I’m neglecting myself right now. I know I’m eating poorly and skipping sleep. But if things ever got really bad—like, if I got a scary diagnosis—then I’d finally change.”

We believe that a crisis will be the ultimate motivation. We think a "wake-up call" is the magic switch that will finally turn us into the disciplined, healthy person we want to be.

We treat our health like a work project with a deadline. We think we can procrastinate on the maintenance, and when the "deadline" (the heart attack, the cancer, the diagnosis) hits, we’ll pull an all-nighter, work hard, and fix it.

I say this, both as a clinician and as a survivor: That is a lie.

And believing it is the most dangerous thing you can do.

The 4.3% Statistic

There is a fascinating and terrifying statistic in medical literature on this.

Studies show that when people survive a major, life-threatening health crisis—like a heart attack or a stroke—the vast majority of them do not successfully change their lifestyle.

In fact, only 4.3% of patients successfully change their eating, exercise, and smoking habits after a heart attack or stroke.

Read that again. 4.3%.

That means more than 95% of people look death in the face, survive it… and then go right back to the habits that almost killed them.

Why? Are they lazy? Do they have a death wish? Are they "weak"?

No. They are human. And their brains are doing exactly what biology designed them to do.

Why Your Brain "Deletes" Fear

In her book Unstoppable Brain, Dr. Kyra Bobinet explains that fear is "energetically costly."

Your brain’s primary job is survival. Maintaining a state of high-alert panic burns a tremendous amount of energy. Your brain hates that. It wants to be efficient.

So, once the immediate threat is gone—once you’re out of the hospital, or the doctor says you’re "stable"—your brain works overtime to turn down the volume on the fear. It desensitizes you. It deletes the alarm bells to save energy.

Dr. Bobinet notes that if the emotional event isn't strong enough to permanently rewire the brain (which is rare), the fear fades. And little by little, the brain justifies its way back into old habits.

This is why the strategy of waiting for a crisis fails. You cannot outwork your biology. You cannot treat longevity like a cram session.

Fear is a spark. It is not a fuel.

My confession

I know this not only because I’ve studied it, but because I’ve lived it.

As many of you know, I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed young. I was in college. It was terrifying.

And you might assume that the fear of cancer returning has been the fire fueling my healthy habits for the last 4 years. You might think, “Well, of course Grazelle is consistent—she’s scared of getting sick again.”

But honestly?

The fear faded.

It actually faded rather quickly, even while I was still in college. I had a life to live. I had exams, family, church activities, and friends. Those things were more immediate and more interesting to me than the constant fear of a disease.

In fact, there was a season where I didn’t feel motivated to be healthy at all. I remember having a distinct, dark thought:

“I’ll probably deteriorate faster than other ‘normal’ people anyway. I’ll probably catch other chronic diseases as a consequence of already having cancer. So, I’ll just make the most of the time I’ve got left.”

I became content with the thought of my health slowly declining.

I tell you this to smash the pedestal you might have put me on. I am not a robot. I am not fueled by an endless supply of "survivor willpower."

If the fear of cancer was not enough to fuel my daily habits for years, why do you think a vague fear of "future high blood pressure" is going to fuel you?

From Fear to Practice

So, how did I become like the lucky 4.3% who did change?

If fear didn't save me, what did?

I stopped waiting for the "right time" or the "right feeling," and I started building systems.

I realized that relying on a health scare was a trap. I needed something sustainable.

I found a "Why" bigger than fear.

Fear is about running away from something (death, disease). That is exhausting. Purpose is about running toward something. For me, it became about my faith. Then my career. And eventually, the hope of becoming a mother. I wanted to be healthy enough to carry a child. I wanted to be healthy enough to see my daughter grow up and not be a burden to her. Love is a much more sustainable fuel source than terror.

I embraced lifestyle medicine.

The problem with the "Wake-Up Call" mentality is that it promotes all-or-nothing thinking. You tell yourself, “After this heart attack, I will be PERFECT. No more sugar, gym every day, 100% clean eating.” That is a recipe for failure. When the fear fades (and it will), the perfection crumbles. I learned to flex. When life got messy—during exams, during work stress, during pregnancy—I didn't abandon my habits; I dialed them down temporarily. I aimed for imperfect consistency. I learned that you never fail; you just iterate.

Don't Wait to Be Scared

In my 11 years as a Physical Therapist, I have seen this tragedy play out too many times.

I have stood by bedsides and watched patients—smart, loving, wonderful people—who had the scare. A heart attack, cancer, diabetes. They promised they would change.

And then, 3 months later, I watched them slide back. Not because they wanted to die, but because they didn't have a system. They were relying on a fear that had already evaporated.

It makes me incredibly sad. And it frustrates me, because it is preventable.

Do not wait for the scare.

Do not wait for the diagnosis to give you permission to prioritize yourself. Do not wait for your body to scream at you before you start listening to it. Do not assume you will be in the 4.3% who change after the disaster.

The odds are not in your favor.

Your One Small Step

If you have been putting off your health because you’re "too busy" or waiting for a "better time," let this be your gentle reality check.

The "Right Time" is a myth. The "Wake-Up Call" is a trap.

You don't need a tragedy to start. You just need to start.

And you don't need to start perfectly. You don't need a 30-day transformation or a complete lifestyle overhaul.

You need one small, evidence-based habit that you can stick to even on your worst days.

Whatever it is, do it today. Not out of fear of dying, but out of a desire to truly live for the things that matter to you.

Your life is happening right now. Don't wait for it to almost end before you decide to take care of it.

With love and imperfect consistency,

Grazelle 🌱

PS: Life is really busy and messy at the moment for me but I have to say – one thing that I am really loving and appreciating every minute of is motherhood.

Whenever you’re ready, here are some other (free) resources you can check out: